Too fat for sex!

Zoo officials in Thailand claim that their male panda is too fat to have sex (331 lbs!) and have placed him on a restrictive bamboo leaves only diet. They tried sparking romance between him and his partner by holding a mock wedding and are toying with showing them panda porn! (I bet some people are wishing there was a human version of this where you could send your significant other to slim down and re-spark some romance) I say leave him alone... maybe he's gay! But to be fair maybe his partner has let loose and doesn't groom herself like she used to or stopped caring whether she has bad bamboo breath or not when she's around him.

Or maybe zoo officials should get in touch with these Russian doctors! They surgically removed a man's penis (he had a defect from birth — his penis was crooked, 2.5 inches long and lacked a scrotum), attached the penis to his arm (where it grew to 6.5 inches), and reattached it to his groin! Hm, that should help spark some baby-panda-making-sex!