Tuesday, December 5, 2006

Big men needed

Spray on latex condoms? By 2008, this company plans to "roll out" a new spray-on condom that would be tailor made for all penis sizes. You stick your willie into a can, push a button, and bam! you're ready to go! Guys, go check out their website and sign up as a condom tester.

Ever wondered what your gas would look like if you could see it?

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

that's what I call dedication

A note to all you men out there, take a lesson from this guy's book. He went to the doctor's to have his penis cut off after breaking up with his girlfriend and then seeing her with another man. That's my people!

Monday, November 20, 2006

Global orgasm?

Want global peace without leaving the bedroom? Join the masses that will be doing their part to change the world. This may or may not take that much time out of your day and I guarantee you'll enjoy it.

Part of the Global Orgasm's mission statement reads, "The mission of the Global Orgasm is to effect change in the energy field of the Earth through input of the largest possible surge of human energy. Now that there are two more US fleets heading for the Persian Gulf with anti- submarine equipment that can only be for use against Iran, the time to change Earth’s energy is NOW!"

So grab a partner (or partners if you're so lucky) or go solo and let's all countdown to 12/22/06!

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Don't let this happen to you!

I'm at the gym, bouncing along on the treadmill working up a massive sweat. After I finish my long run I'm drenched in sweat and I mean DRENCHED head to socks! Like, if I took off my shirt I could probably wring out enough sweat to satiate the thirst of a man crawling along in the desert for a week without water. Like, enough sweat that even my shorts were soaked and looked like I had peed in them. And speaking of peeing... I had to go pee after my run. My legs were still a bit wobbly from the run so instead of squatting over the toilet seat, I put down a toilet seat cover. As I finished and got up I was still rockin' out to the music on my iPod and didn't notice that part of the toilet seat covered had adhered to the back of my leg! We've all seen people walking out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to the bottom of a shoe, but imagine seeing someone walk out of a stall with part of toilet seat cover stuck to the back of her thigh! Luckily no one was around to catch my embarrassment.

Interesting tidbits encountered on the Internet:
We know obesity leads to many health implications. But did you know that being obese can lead to problems even after dying ? “Fire officials said the six-hundred pound man was in being cremated when his body fluids were too much for the oven. The body fluids seeped out onto the floor and ignited causing a fire at the Garner Funeral Home in Salt Lake City.”
Lesson learned: If you are obese, don't get cremated.

I think people taking offense to seeing a giant wooden penis (haha!) at an airport in Taiwan are just suffering from penis envy. After all, the sculpture is in an Asian country.... (I'm not implying anything...)

Vibrating soap
to create that “perfect lather”? If I’m going to pay $12 for a bar of soap, I can think of a couple of other uses rather than wasting its vibrating function to wash my hands… for instance, a neck massager!

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Under Construction...

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If for any reason you have money burning a hole in your pocket or just are feeling generous, please donate to the Juliann Needs Money cause. Email me for more information. I promise to give you props on this web page. (Shameless soliciation? Yes, I know! But if people are doing this, then why not me, too?)