Monday, December 31, 2007

Stay away from my plastic!!!

I saw this postcard on PostSecret and was immediately horrified! I can ignore complaints about the cover on my remote control and endure ridicule about it, but having someone violate me by removing plastic from my appliances and gadgets --- GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!



I wish I had the brilliant foresight to obtain a patent for the remote control cover. I'm sure millions of dollars have been made from "type A's", I mean buyers, in Asia alone. I don't want a disposable wussy little zip lock baggie, I want a real cover, but real ones are hard to find in the U.S.

For those who think I'm neurotic and just don't like having a dirty remote control think again! A study by"Dr. Germ" at Univ. of Arizona microbiology found that remote controls are the highest carriers of bacteria in a hospital room! (BTW - I highly recommend closing the toilet lid before flushing.) Hospitals can now purchase disposable remote controls from Nosocontrol (I love the name!) to help cut down on nosocomial infections.

Anyway, bottom line, don't touch the plastic on my stuff or I'll kick your butt to Azerbaijan. Don't know where that is? Just don't ask Miss Teen South Carolina to help you find it on a map.

Friday, December 21, 2007

'Tis the season...

... to toot away!

I received this holiday greeting card from the "airheads" at Environmental Analytical Services (air testing lab).

Monday, December 17, 2007

Deep in the Heart of Texas!

A few photos and commentary from a trip to Texas...


Texans on the environment...

"Don't mess with Texas" is an environment slogan for "don't litter" created in 1986. I had to do a couple of passes on the freeway to get this photo.


Texans on food...

I can't argue here, you can't go wrong with waffles and hunks of meat (from Rudy's eaten on "Texas china" with plastic ware - that's class!).

Texans on religion...

(Actually this was in USA Today, the #1 circulated newspaper in the U.S. - scary that that many people may be relying on pictures, charts, and diagrams to get their daily news!)

God on Texas...

He loves Texas, as evidenced by His rays of light!



Texans on footwear...

Laura's Nike shoes say "1st Lady" on them. Got to love 'em Bushes - they've got style!

Texans on art...

Soda cans glued together in the shape of a star hanging from the ceiling... how... creative and artistic...


Texans on gifts from Mexico...

The plaque says "Mi casa es tu casa" but what happened to the rest of the house?
(yes, I'm being facetious)

Texans on birds...
video
(don't watch if you're scared of birds)

Doggie toy?

Oh dear! Men, learn from this guy - don't urinate through a fence. Your penis may end up as doggie chew toy.

Pay to be a hero?

Money can buy you a lot of things, nowadays you can even buy your way to being a hero!

The highest bidder of this online Ebay auction will have bragging for saving the world from ...death and destruction (?) unleashed by the push of THE BUTTON.

And friends say *I* have too much time on my hands...

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

solving for love

If only love was as "simple" to figure out as calculus...



(link to source of graphs)

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Pikachu! (bless you!)

I don't even want to know what these kids are "getting in to"! I'm sure Freud would have a field day with this scene...

(click on the image to get a "better" view)


(thanks for the picture JTB)

Friday, October 19, 2007

I rode her a$$ for 5 laps until she tired out and changed strokes

I was having a nice leisure swim at the pool this morning till you dived into my lane and decided I was swimming too slow for you and passed me up. Immediately I went into competitive mode and rode your a$$ for about 5 laps. You tired out and let me pass you and switched to the breast stroke. Thanks for the challenge. Sorry about being a prick riding your a$$ like I did...

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Dancing dogs

Suddenly I'm in the mood for hot dogs...

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Can eating crap improve our health?

A follow up on my previous post from a Slate.com article arguing why toilets have led to the demise of our health.

"The triumph of Western civilization is, first and foremost, a triumph of pipes and valves and the fact that water runs downhill. Aqueducts bring fresh water in, cobblestoned underground tunnels move used water out, and, presto, our world is clean. But here is the problem: We have become victims of our own success. Ever wonder why your dog can gobble, lick, and gnaw all he wants along the glorious buffet of a city street and (almost) never get sick? Your dog is used to eating shit."

Don't worry, the rest of the article doesn't poo-poo the advent of toilets.

More toilets in the news.... introducing the world's smallest "toilet"!



(two days of being sick and all I can think about is toilets... I wish I could flush my cold away already!)

Ok, last video clip. A helpful video clip on potty training a little one.

Oh crap!

Too bad I missed this event:

"The cycle club of the Kyonggi University promoted a national toilet tour. The club visited 16 provinces and cities for 29 days. The tour was aimed at promoting the Inaugural General Assembly of the World Toilet Association (WTAA), spread clean and comfortable toilet culture, and research on the actual conditions of the toilets in Korea. The event was hosted by Kyonggi University and supported by the Organizing Committee for the WTAA, and the Citizen’s Coalition for Restroom Culture."


Why aren't there more organizations out there like the WTA? WTA is "dedicated to better health, sanitation, and life" and recently built a toilet-shaped house in South Korea named "Haewoojae, which signifies in Korean "a place of sanctuary where one can solve one's worries".

This video clip is hilarious!

Thursday, September 27, 2007

scary sounds!

Creepy night time sounds coming from the sewer! I tried to see what was down there, but didn't see anything.


video


Friday, August 17, 2007

Just another work day...

(I know I'm supposed to continue with Adventures in Sweden, but I'm taking a vacation from my vacation postings.)

I went to work today. But instead of being stuck in Cube World I was in Bolinas, a tiny, tiny town about 30 miles north of San Francisco. Lately Bolinas has become the collision of hippies vs. yuppies. Good thing development in the town is practically non-existent; a water board basically halted any new developments by placing a moratorium on new water meters (no water = no house).

Today, instead of staring at computer monitors and getting cross-eyed I tried to keep the sun out of my eyes, having left my sunglasses in my car. Instead of sitting at my desk wishing I was outside, I was outside taking a walk on the beach feeling the warm sun on my skin. Instead of eating the same ol' lunch, I feasted on yummy Baja shrimp tacos from Bolinas Cafe. Instead of taking a 10-minute afternoon walking break around Emeryville with views of I-80 freeway or the Amtrak station, I took a 3-hour bike ride along Bolinas-Fairfax Rd to Alpine Dam on Mt. Tamalpais, enjoying spectacular breath-taking views of the coast, San Francisco, and even East Bay since it was such a clear day. Instead people watching worker bees I was people watching the locals, some of whom are definitely interesting characters (e.g., woman parading around in mismatched clothing and wearing a newspaper paper hat and her counterpart with the tin foil hat). Instead of seeing people mill about Peet's Coffee, I saw people milling about the Free Box, rummaging through the latest additions.


Views from the mesa in Bolinas.




Not surprising to see anti-war/anti-Bush sentiments in Bolinas.



On the other side of the lagoon...


... Stinson Beach!


Sun setting over the hill...




Just a sliver of the moon...


If you click on the picture you'll see an orange moon, reflecting the light of the sun.

As an added bonus, I caught part of an episode of The Simpsons, a show I love but haven't seen in years. Homer is spot on: "Yeah, and if you get kicked out of that one you're going straight in the army where you'll be sent straight to America's latest military quagmire. Where will it be? North Korea? Iran? Anything's possible with Commander Cuckoo-Bananas in charge."
(see the clip here)

Another Homer line: "Oookay, let's make some magic here. I wiped a booger on your shirt, made a dog and a cat kiss, I swiped a bolted-down TV from a Holiday Inn (Cut to Homer in confessional box) I coveted the wife in Jaws 2, I lied to a waiter, I masturbated eight-million times, and I have no plans to stop masturbating in the future. (Darts out confessional door) Wahoo I'm clean! In your face Lord!"

I wish every work day was like today.

Monday, August 6, 2007

A Swedish bröllop (wedding)

My European vacation continued...

Saturday July 28, 2007

I slept most of the night, only waking up a couple of times but able to fall asleep each time. One of the times I woke up Mom started talking to me about not being able to fall asleep. I must have been extremely tired or my ear plugs worked extremely well, either way I slept through Mom’s restlessness - her walking around the room, taking a shower, and even her blow drying her hair. All my sleeping caused us to miss the breakfast buffet (I know! It could have been 10 buffet meals!). When my uncle found out we missed breakfast, he immediately walked up to the receptionist and somehow sweet talked the receptionist into allow us to pack sandwich ingredients to go. I need to learn how he did this.

My cousin's wedding was held in Gamla Uppsala (Old Uppsala), a former pagan-cultic-center-turned-Catholic church. This wedding was a first of many for me as far as weddings go – the first Swedish wedding in the oldest church I've been in (built in the 11th century), the first wedding at a church with an “active” cemetery (parishioners are still buried here), the first wedding presided over by a black Swedish-speaking minister, the first wedding where there was an uneven number of bridesmaids (2) to groomsmen (1), the first wedding where the bride and groom walked down the aisle together, and the first wedding I didn’t cry at (probably because I couldn't understand what was said).








Wedding party - 2 sisters and 1 brother

The reception was held at Odinsborg restaurant, next to the church. The service was slow and I can’t say the food was worth the wait (though I'm sure it cost just as much as a meal at a 4-star restaurant). We started with feta cheese, sun-dried tomatoes and salad (the meal was supposed to include pita bread, but I didn’t get any). The entrée took forever to come out and consisted of overly-done beef (and I usually like well-done beef) with a salty brown sauce, a thick slice of boiled tomato, a PIECE of broccoli, and fried potatoes (best part of the meal) with a cream sauce.







The strawberry mousse wedding cake was really good!


Even toilet flusher says "I Do." The small drop on the right is for a small flush (i.e., requires little water), while the big drop on the left is for times when you need to call upon waters of the Amazon River to take care of the job.

More to come...

Sverige, ja!

My European vacation...

July 26, 2007 - Philadelphia – local time 17:12

After pulling an all nighter to finish some work, it wasn’t surprising that I slept for most of the flight. Since arriving at SFO at 05:40 I’ve ate two peaches, two nectarines, one banana, and one cheese roll from Arizmendes. Apparently my dad packed a few fruit trees for my mom to take on the flight. Between my relatives and I, somehow we managed to consume it all before arriving in Stockholm. It’s a good thing I forgot to bring my snacks.

July 27, 2007 - Welcome to Sweden, land of Volvos, IKEA, and smorgasborgs!

Eventually we made our way to downtown Uppsala, where we stayed at the "luxurious" Hotel Svava (aka Comfort Inn), which was not much bigger than my bedroom at home.



I left mom napping at the hotel while I went out for a jog along the “river”, which was the size of a creek. The route started in downtown and took you away from the city and out to open fields within about 15 minutes. At some point I felt like I was in the boonies, expecting to see corn fields (or potato fields since it's Sweden??) around the bend. I soon found out found out I was jogging along a path named after Carl Linnaeus (also known as Carl von Linné, who is often called the Father of Taxonomy for creating a system for naming, ranking, and classifying organisms) so it was fitting that this route lead to a nature preserve where you can watch birds frolicking near a marsh from a birding hut. Back in the city I jogged up to Uppsala Castle and here is where the rain started. It was a light sprinkle that turned into a downpour forcing me to seek shelter under a restaurant awning. The heavy rain barely lasted longer than Nelly Furtado’s “Promiscuous” song.

Dinner was at the Chinese Palace; little did I know this was the first of NINE buffet meals I would consume over the course of my vacation. The menu was a mix of Chinese and Japanese food – I hope Swedes know the difference between Chinese and Japanese food! The food was ok and the watermelon was really good! Lack of sleep finally caught up to me and I was caught falling asleep/nodding off during dinner.



After dinner I again left mom at the hotel and took a stroll around downtown. It was past 9 PM, but was still light out (Sweden isn't nicknamed Land of the Midnight Sun for nothing). I walked up these stairs to get a shot of the sunset when some guy walked by and said, “Hey, hey! If you want to take a beautiful picture, take a picture of me!” Cheese ball!




Though it was a Friday night, not many people were out and about. August is popular vacation time and often businesses close while owners are on vacation. There were some clubs and bars open, but the clientèle barely looked old enough to drink. They were dressed in tight jeans that taper down (I later saw this was the typical European fashion trend). I didn’t see many hot blond-hair, blue-eyed men (not even not hot ones!).


What's the fascination with Texas?


I'm not lovin' it!


I wonder what they sell here? (Later found out it translates to "Final Sale")

More to come...

Monday, July 9, 2007

you think YOU'RE so smart?

If YOU'RE going to slip a note like this though the crack in my car window, at least proof-read it first, better yet don't assume that I live there! Now, not only are you a stuck-up Menlo Parkian with no life except to be a parking Nazi, but you are dumb, too. Maybe if YOUR dumb city had sidewalks there would be no confusion of where YOUR driveway starts and ends.

for men who can't decide between T&A....

... now you don't have to decide! Soon men may be able to enjoy both T&A in one. Through an experimental procedure called "Celution" women can have stem cells extracted from butt-fat (or tummy-fat) and placed in the chest to grow boobs.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

OH MY GOODNESS!

Ok, break-ups can be difficult to deal with, but ripping out an ex-boyfriend's testicles with bare hands and trying to swallow it? Wow. That woman needs to see a therapist. But then again, depending on the a**hole, a 2.5 year jail sentence may not seem so bad...

Thursday, June 7, 2007

Stink no more?

My gas never stinks, but if it ever did, I may consider purchasing a pair of special pantaloons. Hm, my mom's birthday IS coming up... and so is my dad's...

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Do your part!

(Especially if you're hot! Hotness must be confirmed by someone other than your significant other)



I think the strategy behind decreasing our dependence on fossil fuels is to ride naked through city streets to make drivers want to stay home.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

worst (or best?) parking job ever

Could the owner of this car do a better parking job even if he tried? I got stuck in my parking spot by this a**hole and ended up waiting for him to move his car for over an hour! And of course, this should happen at the time when I needed to be someplace for work. I attempted to take the company truck but all in vain as another coworker had taken the truck with separate set of keys and not signed it out leaving me to circle the huge parking lot for over half an hour looking for the truck that was not there. ARGH people!


Blocked in from the side. I'm still amazed he was able to get out without touching my car. I give him props for that!




Blocked in from the front.