Stay away from my plastic!!!

I saw this postcard on PostSecret and was immediately horrified! I can ignore complaints about the cover on my remote control and endure ridicule about it, but having someone violate me by removing plastic from my appliances and gadgets --- GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!



I wish I had the brilliant foresight to obtain a patent for the remote control cover. I'm sure millions of dollars have been made from "type A's", I mean buyers, in Asia alone. I don't want a disposable wussy little zip lock baggie, I want a real cover, but real ones are hard to find in the U.S.

For those who think I'm neurotic and just don't like having a dirty remote control think again! A study by"Dr. Germ" at Univ. of Arizona microbiology found that remote controls are the highest carriers of bacteria in a hospital room! (BTW - I highly recommend closing the toilet lid before flushing.) Hospitals can now purchase disposable remote controls from Nosocontrol (I love the name!) to help cut down on nosocomial infections.

Anyway, bottom line, don't touch the plastic on my stuff or I'll kick your butt to Azerbaijan. Don't know where that is? Just don't ask Miss Teen South Carolina to help you find it on a map.

'Tis the season...

... to toot away!

I received this holiday greeting card from the "airheads" at Environmental Analytical Services (air testing lab).

Deep in the Heart of Texas!

A few photos and commentary from a trip to Texas...


Texans on the environment...

"Don't mess with Texas" is an environment slogan for "don't litter" created in 1986. I had to do a couple of passes on the freeway to get this photo.


Texans on food...

I can't argue here, you can't go wrong with waffles and hunks of meat (from Rudy's eaten on "Texas china" with plastic ware - that's class!).

Texans on religion...

(Actually this was in USA Today, the #1 circulated newspaper in the U.S. - scary that that many people may be relying on pictures, charts, and diagrams to get their daily news!)

God on Texas...

He loves Texas, as evidenced by His rays of light!



Texans on footwear...

Laura's Nike shoes say "1st Lady" on them. Got to love 'em Bushes - they've got style!

Texans on art...

Soda cans glued together in the shape of a star hanging from the ceiling... how... creative and artistic...


Texans on gifts from Mexico...

The plaque says "Mi casa es tu casa" but what happened to the rest of the house?
(yes, I'm being facetious)

Texans on birds...

(don't watch if you're scared of birds)

Doggie toy?

Oh dear! Men, learn from this guy - don't urinate through a fence. Your penis may end up as doggie chew toy.

Pay to be a hero?

Money can buy you a lot of things, nowadays you can even buy your way to being a hero!

The highest bidder of this online Ebay auction will have bragging for saving the world from ...death and destruction (?) unleashed by the push of THE BUTTON.

And friends say *I* have too much time on my hands...

solving for love

If only love was as "simple" to figure out as calculus...



(link to source of graphs)

Pikachu! (bless you!)

I don't even want to know what these kids are "getting in to"! I'm sure Freud would have a field day with this scene...

(click on the image to get a "better" view)


(thanks for the picture JTB)

I rode her a$$ for 5 laps until she tired out and changed strokes

I was having a nice leisure swim at the pool this morning till you dived into my lane and decided I was swimming too slow for you and passed me up. Immediately I went into competitive mode and rode your a$$ for about 5 laps. You tired out and let me pass you and switched to the breast stroke. Thanks for the challenge. Sorry about being a prick riding your a$$ like I did...

Yet another toilet-related blog entry...

Toilets of the World

Dancing dogs

Suddenly I'm in the mood for hot dogs...

Can eating crap improve our health?

A follow up on my previous post from a Slate.com article arguing why toilets have led to the demise of our health.

"The triumph of Western civilization is, first and foremost, a triumph of pipes and valves and the fact that water runs downhill. Aqueducts bring fresh water in, cobblestoned underground tunnels move used water out, and, presto, our world is clean. But here is the problem: We have become victims of our own success. Ever wonder why your dog can gobble, lick, and gnaw all he wants along the glorious buffet of a city street and (almost) never get sick? Your dog is used to eating shit."

Don't worry, the rest of the article doesn't poo-poo the advent of toilets.

More toilets in the news.... introducing the world's smallest "toilet"!



(two days of being sick and all I can think about is toilets... I wish I could flush my cold away already!)

Ok, last video clip. A helpful video clip on potty training a little one.

Oh crap!

Too bad I missed this event:

"The cycle club of the Kyonggi University promoted a national toilet tour. The club visited 16 provinces and cities for 29 days. The tour was aimed at promoting the Inaugural General Assembly of the World Toilet Association (WTAA), spread clean and comfortable toilet culture, and research on the actual conditions of the toilets in Korea. The event was hosted by Kyonggi University and supported by the Organizing Committee for the WTAA, and the Citizen’s Coalition for Restroom Culture."


Why aren't there more organizations out there like the WTA? WTA is "dedicated to better health, sanitation, and life" and recently built a toilet-shaped house in South Korea named "Haewoojae, which signifies in Korean "a place of sanctuary where one can solve one's worries".

This video clip is hilarious!

scary sounds!

Creepy night time sounds coming from the sewer! I tried to see what was down there, but didn't see anything.

Just another work day...

(I know I'm supposed to continue with Adventures in Sweden, but I'm taking a vacation from my vacation postings.)

I went to work today. But instead of being stuck in Cube World I was in Bolinas, a tiny, tiny town about 30 miles north of San Francisco. Lately Bolinas has become the collision of hippies vs. yuppies. Good thing development in the town is practically non-existent; a water board basically halted any new developments by placing a moratorium on new water meters (no water = no house).

Today, instead of staring at computer monitors and getting cross-eyed I tried to keep the sun out of my eyes, having left my sunglasses in my car. Instead of sitting at my desk wishing I was outside, I was outside taking a walk on the beach feeling the warm sun on my skin. Instead of eating the same ol' lunch, I feasted on yummy Baja shrimp tacos from Bolinas Cafe. Instead of taking a 10-minute afternoon walking break around Emeryville with views of I-80 freeway or the Amtrak station, I took a 3-hour bike ride along Bolinas-Fairfax Rd to Alpine Dam on Mt. Tamalpais, enjoying spectacular breath-taking views of the coast, San Francisco, and even East Bay since it was such a clear day. Instead people watching worker bees I was people watching the locals, some of whom are definitely interesting characters (e.g., woman parading around in mismatched clothing and wearing a newspaper paper hat and her counterpart with the tin foil hat). Instead of seeing people mill about Peet's Coffee, I saw people milling about the Free Box, rummaging through the latest additions.


Views from the mesa in Bolinas.




Not surprising to see anti-war/anti-Bush sentiments in Bolinas.



On the other side of the lagoon...


... Stinson Beach!


Sun setting over the hill...




Just a sliver of the moon...


If you click on the picture you'll see an orange moon, reflecting the light of the sun.

As an added bonus, I caught part of an episode of The Simpsons, a show I love but haven't seen in years. Homer is spot on: "Yeah, and if you get kicked out of that one you're going straight in the army where you'll be sent straight to America's latest military quagmire. Where will it be? North Korea? Iran? Anything's possible with Commander Cuckoo-Bananas in charge."
(see the clip here)

Another Homer line: "Oookay, let's make some magic here. I wiped a booger on your shirt, made a dog and a cat kiss, I swiped a bolted-down TV from a Holiday Inn (Cut to Homer in confessional box) I coveted the wife in Jaws 2, I lied to a waiter, I masturbated eight-million times, and I have no plans to stop masturbating in the future. (Darts out confessional door) Wahoo I'm clean! In your face Lord!"

I wish every work day was like today.

you think YOU'RE so smart?

If YOU'RE going to slip a note like this though the crack in my car window, at least proof-read it first, better yet don't assume that I live there! Now, not only are you a stuck-up Menlo Parkian with no life except to be a parking Nazi, but you are dumb, too. Maybe if YOUR dumb city had sidewalks there would be no confusion of where YOUR driveway starts and ends.

for men who can't decide between T&A....

... now you don't have to decide! Soon men may be able to enjoy both T&A in one. Through an experimental procedure called "Celution" women can have stem cells extracted from butt-fat (or tummy-fat) and placed in the chest to grow boobs.

OH MY GOODNESS!

Ok, break-ups can be difficult to deal with, but ripping out an ex-boyfriend's testicles with bare hands and trying to swallow it? Wow. That woman needs to see a therapist. But then again, depending on the a**hole, a 2.5 year jail sentence may not seem so bad...

Stink no more?

My gas never stinks, but if it ever did, I may consider purchasing a pair of special pantaloons. Hm, my mom's birthday IS coming up... and so is my dad's...

Do your part!

(Especially if you're hot! Hotness must be confirmed by someone other than your significant other)



I think the strategy behind decreasing our dependence on fossil fuels is to ride naked through city streets to make drivers want to stay home.

worst (or best?) parking job ever

Could the owner of this car do a better parking job even if he tried? I got stuck in my parking spot by this a**hole and ended up waiting for him to move his car for over an hour! And of course, this should happen at the time when I needed to be someplace for work. I attempted to take the company truck but all in vain as another coworker had taken the truck with separate set of keys and not signed it out leaving me to circle the huge parking lot for over half an hour looking for the truck that was not there. ARGH people!


Blocked in from the side. I'm still amazed he was able to get out without touching my car. I give him props for that!




Blocked in from the front.

From swimmer's itch to road rash

Does it ever stop? If it's not being attacked by parasites and getting swimmer's itch, it's being the victim of a bad bicyclist's action and getting road rash.

My helmet probably saved me a trip to the ER and probably saved this guy's life!

crazy!

What does a US$20 bill have in common with 9/11? See for yourself! (And let me make a plug for my friends' website, slideshare.net - it's the youtube for slide shows!)



(some people have way too much time on their hands?)

Too fat for sex!

Zoo officials in Thailand claim that their male panda is too fat to have sex (331 lbs!) and have placed him on a restrictive bamboo leaves only diet. They tried sparking romance between him and his partner by holding a mock wedding and are toying with showing them panda porn! (I bet some people are wishing there was a human version of this where you could send your significant other to slim down and re-spark some romance) I say leave him alone... maybe he's gay! But to be fair maybe his partner has let loose and doesn't groom herself like she used to or stopped caring whether she has bad bamboo breath or not when she's around him.

Or maybe zoo officials should get in touch with these Russian doctors! They surgically removed a man's penis (he had a defect from birth — his penis was crooked, 2.5 inches long and lacked a scrotum), attached the penis to his arm (where it grew to 6.5 inches), and reattached it to his groin! Hm, that should help spark some baby-panda-making-sex!

Happy New Year!

Back from a trip to Romania, with pit stops in Vancouver and Amsterdam. Check out some photos on the left side bar link. Don't worry, I didn't post as many pictures as I did for my Peru trip (1200+)... and I didn't post a dozen photos of the same flower taken from 10 different angles and zooms (maybe I would have, but the snow would have covered up any flowers if there were any, that is).

The Japanese are so fascinating! If they're not studying to pass a chopsticks skills test to get into school they are dressed in bikinis while riding bull-machines and throwing cream pies at each other. Where can I get one of those bull riders? I hear they are now being used as exercise machines.

Yes, my birthday is coming up, but please... don't get me this! I don't need any more distractions while making deposits.